Ghetto Blast Rosenthal Mutakati
CHARLTON stole from the matrimonial bed way before his normal bath time to relieve himself only to find his wife, who feigned deep slumber, helping herself to cash from his wallet.
On realising all was in the cat’s view, the mouse burrowed into the blankets without saying a word.
“But Helen why should you steal from me?” Charlton asked, only to be reminded that it was within the wife’s rights to know that which boiled in her husband’s pot.
The two quarrelled until daybreak when nothing, but the need to leave for work broke the impasse.
On their way to the bus stop, the couple was to hear hoarse cries from a woman who was punching her husband in the street demanding money.
“Ndipe mari. Unoti tinodyei nevana zvaunoda zvinonaka iwe usingatenge?” the woman shouted while holding the hapless bloke who did not say anything as he battled to free himself from her grip.
When he finally broke free, the guy heaved a deep sigh of relief just like an ox released from a yoke. Yainge mombe yakumurwa pajoko.
As people gathered to watch this free drama unfold right in front of their eyes, Charlton and Helen continued on their way somewhat relieved that they were not the only couple in the world with financial problems.
There is something about money that makes married people lose respect and trust for each other.
If there is no money in the home, women immediately assume it has been channelled to secret lovers, while the moment a man sees his wife with huge sums of money, he assumes someone is milking his cow.
This makes them become the only proverbial enemies that share the same bed.
Hamawe-e imba inonetsa,
Ndaiti kunyepa sekuru vachitaura,
Ndazozvionera shuwa shamwari,
Kana mumba musina mari, mutauro hauperi,
Ndazozvionera shuwa shamwari,
Mari muenzi mukadzi wangu,
Hatingaparadzane pamusana pemari,
Inouya ichienda iyoka mari, sang Eddias “Solo” Makore and the Fogo Fire.
True to the song, money is the root cause of problems that have resulted in the collapse of so many marriages.
Friendships have also been broken because of cash.
Even the Bible concedes that money is not without problems.
A visit to correctional and rehabilitation facilities countrywide will expose hundreds of people who are doing time there because of money-related issues.
Some bosom friends have evolved into sworn enemies because of problems with “mari,” “cash,” imali,” “dollar power,” “shagi,” “muntonyo” or “mazakwatira”.
A recent study by BYU and William Paterson University established that spouses who were both materialistic were worse off on nearly every relationship measure they looked at.
It wasn’t the lack of money that was the culprit; the authors found that it was materialism itself that created much of the difficulty even when couples had plenty of money.
Having conflicting money values is also a major source of discomfort in marriages.
Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce.
According to Jeffrey Dew’s paper titled “Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest”, when a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the likelihood of divorce by 45 percent.
Adopting traditional roles when they don’t fit is also a major problem. It causes friction in the home. The commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple.
Some people foist their values on their partners and make them allot funds where their hearts value the least. Doing things because a partner wishes so is just not the best way to live and often results in fights for control in the home.
Gentle reader, you do not need to experience this to understand the problem. Each day can bring you new perspective about squabbles over money if you care to assess what often results in couples arguing publicly. Some women even have the cheek to collect salaries on their husbands’ behalf. It can be worse if the two work together.
Partners in hospitals have not been spared. These often come out to find their salaries committed to what they do not want.
This month when most companies are awarding their workers bonuses after a year of hard work is not without drama and incidents that point to money being the root of all evil.
Women are being beaten everyday for asking for money or even for not bothering to ask about the money.
Muggers are also out in full force making sure they make the best this month when people generally have high spending power because of bonus payments. If there is a book to be written, and a best seller at that, I am sure it would be one penned by a security guard manning an entrance to a company. These guys see a lot.
If it is before pay-day, the visitors’ lounge would be as deserted as the case in the biblical parable of the Hamlet in ruins which is parallel to the prophet Ezekiel’s valley of the dry bones.
The situation however, changes during month ends and whenever bonuses are paid out because Mr So and So who usually cuts a lone figure making do with buns and water suddenly becomes popular with men and women of various shapes and sizes falling over each other to see him during working hours.
Such practices have even goaded some employers into denying their workers visitors during work hours to curtail loss of production.
Inotambika mughetto